Mentions sexual assault Show more

Four people just got on the tram, all wearing AirPods. I think you’re on to something, Apple.

Shoutout to the old guy on the tram with the greasy ponytail, wearing head to toe white, a gold chain wrapped around his fist, Gucci bag at his feet.

Robot vacuum: "Going back to the dock."

(watches it plow into the garbage bin, spin around slowly, smash into walls, frantically drive around the room for 10 minutes)

Robot vacuum: "Helppppp meeeeee."

For some reason the kid says "helmet" like a cliché French person, dropping the "h," and it's the best thing ever.

“I’m a big boy,” says Sam to passing strangers.

My son now own’s the world’s noisiest remote controlled car.

Got my first Hey Send Us Bitcoin Or We'll Send Out A Video Of You Watching Porn To All Your Contacts email.

It was to an email address for a service that's discontinued, though they did have the password in plain text - I'm guessing a data breach?

What a time to be alive.

I can tell I’m horribly sleep deprived, because I had to stop myself from breaking up two sparrows fighting.

Sometimes you just need to sit in a room on your own with a wedge of blue cheese and write some specs, y'know?

I gotta say, DST is the shittiest time travel ever invented.

Me, riding the tram, looking up: “Hm, where am I?”

We’re passing a hairdresser-cum-record store.

“Ah, Brunswick.”

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waferbaby

We eat bandwidth for breakfast.